I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of my bed. I didn’t have an argument with anyone special to me. I have a perfectly reasonable normal life Alhamdulillah. Yet I burst out crying today surprising my intern mates. One of my best friends told me that she was planning to give the GREs because she might be pursuing Masters in the US. After that my energy visibly went down and I stopped talking to everyone around me. I don’t know what really provoked me to do something like that. I cannot figure out what upset me more. The fact that college is coming to an end and my close friends are going away from me, or the fact that I still cannot figure out what I have to do in life. I guess it was a combined effect of my disappointment with myself, my frustration with my life and the sad realization that I would miss my friends heartily.
For a long time in fact, I have been meaning to write a piece summing up the 4 years of my college life but I have been delaying it since the idea struck me. I just don’t want to face the reality that it’s almost over. A month more and my internship would get done with and I need not step into those dreaded classrooms again. I would have no reason to hide from the faculty, peep into classes trying to catch the attention of my friends, bunking college and enjoying probably the best moments of my life, singing and screaming in my friend’s high speeding Ford. I would no longer have to stay awake late nights studying for some accursed examination or writing some long piece of assignment detailing the use of biosensors (like anybody cares).
There is simply so much I am going to leave behind. The cheap biryani of the canteen, the inter-college dance festivals, sunbathing on the library steps during the chilly winters, long walks with friends circling the college, gossiping over a cup of coffee, and not to forget, endless hours of laughter imitating some faculty or playing pranks on some fellow classmate.
These 4 years have truly educated me on life, its betrayals, a few lasting friendships, love, heartbreak and falling in love all over again, most importantly with myself. I can go on and on but can never express how priceless my times in college were.
Alas, the real test now begins.