Posted in Life, modernization, reality, reflections, Uncategorized, wordprompt, World

Daily Prompt: Disagree

via Daily Prompt: Disagree

Most of what I see on the news these days, makes my insides recoil in shame, pity and anger. The mounting tensions all over the world, the pools of blood formed everyday in the name of God, the false hypocritical talks of a certain Drumpf (and similar prototypes budding in every country), the advancement of vulgarity labelled under ‘freedom to live as one wishes’, the consecutive invasion of once-revered morals, the violation of souls whose bodies are raped, the ever-growing gap between the poor and the rich, all of it hurts me and shatters my illusion that humanity will embrace peace someday. I disagree with what the world has become. I disagree that good times are soon to come. Yet, a tiny hopeful part of me disagrees with myself, and argues. That it is all for the good. That the human in all us of will outperform the devil. But I won’t be deceived again. I disagree until I witness that sheer moment of unparalleled brilliance.

 

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Silence

She woke up in the middle of the night. Her worn eyes tried to focus on the blurred surroundings, taking in each detail of the ward she was placed in. Her nose wrinkled at the smell of the pungent detergent that was used to clean the tiny room. It had been four months since her arrival here. Four months since she had a peaceful sleep. Surviving the day was easier, it was the night that she dreaded. It was the silence that woke her up. Every night. The stillness of the air around her reminded her of how suddenly her life had come to a standstill. How suddenly all was lost. She missed the calm of the night that used to follow after her busy day. She longed for that deep sleep that one goes into after a tedious, challenging day. It seemed that like fate, even sleep was deceiving her now. Her companion of thirty years had abandoned her. So suddenly, heartlessly. She had nobody to bicker at, eat with, laugh at and sing with. Multiplying, unwanted cells of his body had created an infinite space in her life, heart and soul. Each passing moment of her life now echoes only one thing- silence which makes up the long pause between life and death.

 

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Forgiving the Flesh–In Which I Recount the Ways My Body Has Betrayed Me

Our body deserves our attention.. Truly..

dearlilyjune

Dear Lily June,

As human beings, we live in the flimsy structures of our fleshy bodies. Our hearts, like birds, are protected only by a cage of ribs; our minds, like yolks, sit inside the bony eggs of our skulls. It is a system designed to be fragile and frail. We are not built to last forever.

In my youth, I felt as if my body was invincible and thus, I treated it as if it were invisible. (In fact, your Grandma Raelyn might recall to you someday how I used to hide my body, as a toddler, under my ratty baby blanket, transforming myself into a makeshift ghost and earnestly believing no one could see me when I was under there.)

When my own Grandmother Mary began the comparison game as I hit my early teens, wondering why I couldn’t “try to be beautiful” like my sister–your Aunt Loren–I…

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A galaxy in my mind

My mind is bustling with thoughts. I can almost feel them jumping around like a bunch of sad M&Ms, restless and hopeless, trying to find a way to sanity but hitting against the cell walls for the gazillionth time and going back to where they started from. I thought I will write once they settle down but that doesn’t seem possible. So here I am, writing again to provide a direction for these to flow, for them to attain an identity. Sanity.

Betrayal. Not by someone, but your own dreams, your own plans for life. That is something that can be really testing. I feel there is no point to blame someone for a particular situation you are in because after all, it was all my own doing. I took my own risks, scored by priorities, chased after some while turning a careless eye towards the others. Now if someone who always thought I was their number 1 priority, decides that I no longer am one, how can I complain? Isn’t that a basic civil right? But my question is, who is to be blamed? No answers.

Respect. This is something integral to every relationship. More than love. But how many of us value it? How many of us give respect and take respect in our relationships? Most often, it is one concept of any relationship that is always taken for granted. We think that if someone loves us, they should understand why we behave the awful way we do. NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! Would you understand it if someone threw a bucket of shit on you and told you that it is okay because they love you anyways? Then why do people expect that it would be fine if they do it with someone else? No answers.

Courage. Not to fight but to love. Love no matter what comes your way. When the flowers wither, and there is drought all around, love like its spring. When the body is cold and the soul floats above, love like its life. That kind of courage. Is it then, love, if it lacks valiance? No answers.

Perseverance. How long should it take to attain peace, to be content, to smile with the same warmth and to regain all that was lost? How long will it take for my kingdom to bloom again? How much worth of patience do I need to inhale and exhale before I reach a golden eternity? No answers.

Kindness. That should never fade. Whether you are repaid for it or not. Whether its valued as a gem or a jest. Because if that’s lost, would our spirit exist? Pfft, like it matters to anybody these days. Or does it? No answers.

 

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Chapter 1: Meet & Greet

My bestie’s blog! Check it out guys! 🙂

Mirroring Perceptions

Good Morning, my lovely friends! 😀

It’s a beautiful day out here( by “here” I  refer to  U.A.E. ), it’s a Wednesday- 10th of February, 2016. I’m at my workplace trying to do some work, but then i felt like first i need to get myself introduced to you folks out there. High Priority, huh! ha ha…. YES! B)

So….I’m a person filled with heights of extremism. Either I’m too happy or too sad or too excited or too anything! I just can’t stay calm. “Weirdo” was what I called myself earlier.

Our Creator has made us all unique in our own way. We all are different. So am I.

Everyday I drive to work which is around 2 hours away from my house. This is the time I get to spend sometime alone, which I really don’t like in the entire day. That’s ’cause I hate to keep quiet! And lots…

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When some dreams die…

So I am back from yet another mini vacation and this marks the end of my holidays for good (for the current year anyways :P). Kerala was a beautiful place with cleaner and fresher air, roads lined with tall coconut and neem trees, most people blessed with a variety of vegetation in their small haven- bananas, mangoes, coconuts, tamarind and guavas. They are probably more of which I can’t recount. And yes, my best friend got married.

As much as it is definitely a life-changing experience for her, I felt that her marriage also had a significant impact on me. It made me think of issues I had been avoiding for so long, putting them off for the right time. But in reality, the time is never right. Its only a matter of whether we are ready to understand, reflect on and accept the issue or not. As her wedding ceremony progressed before my eyes, I felt a weird pang of uneasiness in my gut. Snippets of past conversations with my parents, their plans for my wedding, my belief in my plans, a pact that was made between us after a compromise, defining moments of my life so far, all of these managed to trigger a flood of panic in my mind. I did what was best- swallow it all and put it off for later. Not when my friend was at the altar.

But the wedding is over now. The time seems to have come. The issue, even more unavoidable. The demand for a decision growing stronger. I conclude that no matter how hard you work for something to happen, how much you pray to the Higher Power, sometimes it just doesn’t happen. I always liked to believe that if I think something will happen to me, it will happen to me. But I am proved wrong now. People say that whatever happens is for the best. That years later, I will realize why this didn’t work out and that did, and I would be grateful. Even if that’s true, I still have to go through my emotional turmoil, cringe and weep for God knows how many cycles of despair. What about that? Who or what deserves to be blamed? My stupid courage, my too-good-to-be-true dreams, my desperate determination to make it all fine or just the whole of me? I don’t even know what I want anymore. And nothing could be worse than that. Period.

 

 

 

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On my way to fly

So I am back at the airport in just 2 months and am going for a much-awaited holiday of 2016 (yes,already!  😜) because it’s my best friend’s wedding. There are many factors that are predictably going to make this trip one of my most memorable trips of my life so far. It’s a first for many aspects. My first solo trip to Kerala, a place I have never been to before (although it is one of the most popular tourist hubs of my country), my first stay at a friend’s house ( I know that sounds crazy but sleepovers have always been a NO-NO with my parents) and the first wedding of a friend I will be attending. And also a first Christian wedding I would be witnessing. So yes, I am super excited. And I love airports. I love the eclectic mix of people I see here. Although I must say, traveling without company makes one feel lonely, even though they are surrounded by so many people. Strange, huh?  

Alright then, the announcement has been made. Boarding gate has been opened. So I shall post next from ‘God’s own country’, Kerala! 

 

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New Year and stuff…

“You need to write, Lubna. You need to write. You have to write. About the trip to Singapore. About the world and what your brain comprehends it as. There is so much going on around, so much to opinionate. WRITE!”, urges the writer in me.  “Maybe later”, replies my lazy alter ego. These constant internal battles have prevented me from blogging for so long. But today, I finally felt that ‘later’ has come and my mind is buzzing with thoughts that need to be placed somewhere. In a virtual post, in somebody’s thoughts.

So season’s greetings first and wishing all of you a very Happy New Year! I frankly do not understand what the hype is all about, why top cities of the world compete in releasing the most extravagant of fireworks (like we need another contributor for Ozone depletion), why people start making resolutions (that mostly remain just that) and why everyone feels that its the start of a new life ahead. I don’t mean to be an antagonist here, but my point is why should New Year be chosen particularly to make changes to one’s life or start over again when it can be done at any point in the year. Why wait for 1st of January to start a healthy, happy and peaceful life? Every day is a new day and each day offers you the chance to start over, undo the worst, outdo the best. New Year has become just another event of extravagance and glitz courtesy of excellent marketing skills of huge business banners. The whole meaning of this ‘family’ holiday has thus been corrupted by many, if not all.

This New Year’s Eve, I (and many others who had flocked off to Burj Khalifa in Dubai to witness the fireworks) saw ‘The Address’ Hotel burn. And this burning building impacted me profoundly by teaching me something new about life. About humans. How selfish and foolish we sometimes can be. We are taken aback when we see a hotel on fire. Some of us say a silent prayer for the possible victims. Some of us take photographs to update our social media with live news. Some of us take selfies with a building on fire as the background. Yes, selfies. Some of us are impatient and just want to see the fireworks we have been waiting for the whole night. This over-optimism can also be interpretative of ignorance. People are ignorant of the dangers of society and the pains of fellow human beings, of course until they face the same ordeal someday. I guess our brains our just wired like that. I just have to get used to this idea.

Leaving you all to digest this bit, I shall return with something happier next time.

 

 

 

 

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2015 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog. Thanks to all fellow bloggers who took their time out to read my thoughts. One of my most important new year resolutions would be to become more committed to this blog and provide more valuable content for my readers to justify my existence here. Thank you all again!

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 840 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 14 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.