A poem for my sister

It was in the winter of 1999

When you entered our family of three

As a chubby, rosy but silly baby

An adorable addition to our bloodline

The first time I held you

I knew you were trouble

Your mischievous eyes stared into mine

And I knew I was stuck with you

Until the end of time

You soon turned a dramatic eight

And my constant source of annoyance

Always following me and my playmate

Making funny faces in defiance

You then entered your teens

While I was at university, trying to adult

Our bond shifted like gears of machines

And we struck chords of deep friendship

We began to confide our secrets anew

I shared my successes and failures

For you to learn and take the easier way

As I was concerned of any troubles

Big or small, befalling you

We went on long drives

Blasting off music, heading to our favorite beach

Shared a liking to each other’s favorite snacks

And had laughs over chai and stories of heartbreaks

Amidst all this, I didn’t notice you grow up

It seems so soon and unreal

That you’re teenage years are up

But proud I am for real

To see the woman in you, my dear

Who’s blossoming, beautiful and kind

And wise and passionate about life

Stay the way you are

Unless change is for the good

Guard yourself like a treasure

Against any folly or evil misunderstood

Happy birthday to you

My sister, my confidante

May you have many more

Days filled with light, not blue.

Lone traveler

We come into this world alone, experience its joys and trials alone, and die alone. All the people in our journey are just passengers of their own journey. Everyone is temporary.

I was struck deeply with this realization when I was in the hospital recently, undergoing a minor surgery to keep my baby safe. My overwhelming emotions of fear and anxiety were something I had to face alone. I’m thankful to all the people who visited me, wished for my wellbeing, stood by my side, helped me throughout, but nobody, including my husband, truly understood or experienced the physical and emotional pain I endured. Nobody understood how dead I felt when I was given anesthesia, how I felt I would never return back to reality, how terrifying it was to not be able to see clearly and hear muffled sounds and not being able to make sense of my surroundings. This was a life changing event which has altered the way I view life now. I don’t mean I am a pessimist and I don’t value the relationships that I am blessed with, but I have also learnt to no longer keep expectations from even my loved ones.

Our battle will always be ours. Whether we choose to embrace it or run away from it, that would decide our quality of life.