Dreams to live for

Bespectacled, with a hint of worry
My face appears sullen and droopy
My charm, that always used to be bubbly,
Has lost its former self, no more chirpy

Reliving the mundane on a loop
Burdening the duties that coop
Up my wishful thoughts that snoop
In a hidden alley of my cortex, they stoop

Some days I’m up on a mountain far away
A nomad, relishing what nature offers that day
On other days, I’m amidst skyscrapers that sway
A workaholic, hustling for luxury until I turn gray

Unraveling these random thoughts of wanderlust
Appears the reality, tainted with the unjust
A mother is who I am, for my babies, I must
Pause my dreams, withhold and adjust
So that their lives are touched by nothing but stardust…

An eternity has gone by
I still haven’t tried the world’s best pie
Nostalgia of my wishes keeps kicking in
As the time of my life keeps ticking, running thin…

Love humanity

It is easy to love someone you know, or you have formed some form of attachment with. But it is difficult and worthy of applause when we develop ourselves to love humanity. This love can stem only when we detach ourselves from our own tiny world and focus on the bigger picture we are surrounded by. This is probably the driving force behind my company’s latest CSR campaign this Valentine’s day: ‘Celebrate love by donating’ ! My company rarely impresses me by their activities, but this one has truly attracted my heart and soul! It is a very unique and inspiring thought indeed.

U.A.E has declared this year of 2017 as the ‘Year of Giving’. Subconsciously, this thought always pricked me that I am not doing anything for the greater good. My life is so entangled with my own relationships, both personal and professional, that I never really paused to think how my existence could impact people positively. Time and again, I am nagged by my conscience that my life is really unproductive. We love some people in our lives so dearly, we give them our all yet at some point of time, they hurt us. They puncture a hole in our heart every time they do so. And they even walk out without warning. We mope around for a few days, months, or years and replace those people with a fresh set of people. But the cycle of heartbreak repeats. It is a part of life. I have decided that I do not want to replace people with people to attain happiness. I have tried that multiple times and somehow, always failed. I always wondered where I am going wrong. I expected, that is where I went wrong. Now I want to channel all my love, care and attention towards humanity. I want to nurture my soul by giving all I have to the desperate and needy creations of Allah, without expectation of any return from them. Maybe then I can justify my presence in the world. Maybe then I can sleep peacefully at night. Maybe then I can silence the tug of war in my heart between my duties and desires.

Cling

I pass by the play room in my home but a strong, peculiar smell pulls me back. I inspect the room and realize that the smell has travelled here from the apartment above that is undergoing maintenance. However, the chemical odour seemed oddly familiar, like some long forgotten friend. My brain processed the mystery quickly and I remembered that my grandma’s tiny house used to smell like that.

The smell pushed over a wave of nostalgia over me. This house was the place most of my childhood vacations were spent in. Although having a small capacity, those days when we used to go for vacation, all my maternal cousins used to join us in my Nani’s house. The fun we used to have playing hopscotch, the thrill of riding bicycles on unpaved dirt paths, the sheer joy of collecting marbles, I missed it all. Early morning, my Nani used to sit on a small stool in the kitchen, beside a gas stove, preparing breakfast for all, tending to each one’s demand. Some of us wanted ‘chai roti’, which is made by breaking down the normal ‘paratha’ into tiny pieces and soaking them in milk tea. But I always wanted Nani to make ‘shakkar ki roti’, a form of paratha with a filling of sugar. I have eaten the best pastries of the world yet I always desire to eat the ‘shakkar ki roti’ made by my Nani. During the monsoons, my uncle used to get hot and spicy savories like ‘mirch pakodas’ from the nearby road stalls. All of us used to munch on these, over lame jokes, rounds of Antakshari (a game where players sing songs from the last letter the previous player ended at) and ghost stories.

I usually move on from things and get bored easily. I am also quite forgetful and absent-minded but somehow my mind never fails to cling on to these memories. Someday, I want to re-create those days with the same people. But people change. I doubt if the attempt would provide the same outcome. Nevertheless, I would try once. To make it all the same again.

Daily Prompt- Shine

Corresponding to daily prompt,  SHINE

Everyday, from a population of 7 billion people, a major fraction wakes up into a fresh morning, some happily, some crankily, some hopelessly and some ambitiously. No matter how lazy and forlorn one feels when they first open their eyes in the morning, their dread and gloom lessen considerably when they step out from their homes and the sun’s rays shine down upon them. Following that, hearts becomes lighter, moods become brighter and thoughts become wiser.

I sometimes imagine how life would be without the sun and shudder at the thought. Just contemplating upon this creation of Allah makes me feel so grateful to Him. It also amazes me how a celestial body, around 145.6 million km away from our planet, has the potential to change one’s outlook towards life so substantially. This morning sunshine radiates positivism and propels one to outshine everyone in the dark struggles of this life. It inspires one to engulf others in affection and spread love, joy and happiness. It makes one believe that no matter how bad last night was, we still have today to make things alright. We still have a day to make the world SHINE, even after the sun sets. This sole belief gives life what it usually lacks- a direction. And when one has a purpose, life becomes tolerable to a great extent. Then, all you need to shine is love- give it, receive it, share it- just do it!

 

Daily Prompt: Disagree

via Daily Prompt: Disagree

Most of what I see on the news these days, makes my insides recoil in shame, pity and anger. The mounting tensions all over the world, the pools of blood formed everyday in the name of God, the false hypocritical talks of a certain Drumpf (and similar prototypes budding in every country), the advancement of vulgarity labelled under ‘freedom to live as one wishes’, the consecutive invasion of once-revered morals, the violation of souls whose bodies are raped, the ever-growing gap between the poor and the rich, all of it hurts me and shatters my illusion that humanity will embrace peace someday. I disagree with what the world has become. I disagree that good times are soon to come. Yet, a tiny hopeful part of me disagrees with myself, and argues. That it is all for the good. That the human in all us of will outperform the devil. But I won’t be deceived again. I disagree until I witness that sheer moment of unparalleled brilliance.

 

Some Women’s Day

Even 105 years were not enough to achieve women empowerment. That is what I think when I am greeted a ‘Happy Women’s Day’ by my colleague. I reply back with a warm ‘Thank You’, and I think all this internally. I don’t want to be a cynic around people but this is the space where I am brutally honest. Because I have to be. Isn’t that an essential part of women empowerment, freedom of speech?

Not that I don’t appreciate the thousands of women who have carved a niche in what they do. I admire each one of them for standing up for what they believe in. But figures, ratios and proportions still let me down. When will the ‘thousands’ convert to ‘millions’? Will it even happen before the world ends? I cannot tell at this point.

In our global society, where on one hand we have one Malala, we saddeningly have hundreds and thousands and millions of women who are deprived of what Malala stood up for. Not only deprived of education, but deprived of respect, equality and freedom in all aspects of life. And this is a phenomenon, in all classes of society- lower class, lower middle class, upper middle class, super class (if such a thing exists), royal class and any other shit classes that exist. I just talked about equality and am now mentioning all these so-called social classes, ironic huh?

So I do not know what I have to celebrate women’s day for. For being one of the most brilliant creations of God that is still a victim of infanticide? Or for having unique multi-tasking abilities not common to most men, yet trampled upon (quite literally at times) time and again by ‘superior men’? For our innate affection that we shower upon our families, which becomes burdensome at times and is sold in marriage?  For being an attractive commodity of a huge ‘trade’? For upholding the honor of the family at all times because honor is an exclusive responsibility entrusted to us, and not men? For sacrificing what we love, always, every single time, every moment of the day?

These campaigns, these celebrations, the pledges, these are all efforts. Good efforts. Efforts taken since a century. Maybe more. With little or no outcome. And we won’t be witnessing much change for ourselves until the tired,hopeless women in each house speak. Speak, fight, defend and do everything they can to be happy. Stop giving in to something that you know is wrong. Stop expecting change. Be the change. Listen to your soul.

I am Blessed to be born in a family that raises girls to be confident, strong women with the power to decide how their life has to be. Maybe you are Blessed too. But there are still many out there who aren’t. Figures. They still don’t make me happy.

 

Love is friendship

There are relations we are born with such as those of family and there are ties we create of our own accord which are categorized under a term called ‘FRIENDSHIP’. So today celebrates this bond and I became aware of that only when one of my Whatsapp contacts wished me a ‘Happy Friendship Day’. I am not one who is against celebrations or oppose tying friendship bands or such but I guess my negligence could be due to the fact that I celebrate friendship everyday. In fact, I would not like to call it ‘celebrate’, rather I ‘live’ by friendship every single moment of every single day. Although I may not be one who has a very active social life but I can be proud of my tiny and precious collection of the friends I own. When someone asks me who my best friend is, I really am put in a dilemma because I am the type of person who forms bonds that are really strong, each with their own touch of magic or I do not form them at all. Ofcourse I am cordial and approachable to people in general but I may not make the effort to call everyone of them. And that, according to my mother is a quality I possess that is actually my weakness.

There are many people I am close to, whom I can count on anytime of the day. I have a soul sister who can relate to every emotion I feel because our fate has somewhat been intertwined since we met. We go through the highs and lows of our life almost always together. When her life is taken over by a storm, I always know by intuition that its going to rock my boat soon. That is something I have never experienced with anyone else. Then there is a very dear friend of mine who is the most mature of our group and makes sense of things when everything seems hazy to me. I also own a sweetheart who always sees the best in me and uplifts me literally to cloud 9 by her almost diabetes-inducing words of praise. Then there is this childish, stubborn girl who has a very loving and caring heart for those who dig in through its crust. She makes me feel responsible for her and even though she is just a year younger than me, I always feel concerned and protective about her. The last piece of my treasure box is a physically distant yet heart warming girl who is one of my oldest friends. I am sure she has her own collection of friends, but no matter many days,months or years space our conversations, I am sure I am the crux of her collection, just as she is mine. We always know what to say to the other when we need each other.

As you see, this post was dedicated especially to my friends. The ones who have sailed in the same boat as mine, those who have sailed adjacent to me, providing me the luxury of companionship amidst the staggering waves of time and also those who continue to journey alongside me despite their own priorities and struggles. I thank Allah for these blessings. Happy Friendship Day!!!!!

Painted by: Leonic Afremov

What is inevitable

They say the only thing that one can be certain of facing is DEATH. Yet when it strikes your loved one, why does it shock you and traumatize you beyond repair? We watch the news and see millions of people departing from the world due to poverty, sickness and terrorism but that barely manages to move us for a minute but when a dear one of ours passes away, we feel like its the end of the world, not only for us, but for everyone. The world becomes eclipsed by an unseen phenomena. We wail and cry till our eyes can no longer support us. We struggle to breathe through that constricted, suffocating windpipe. We feel that we have the right to demand everyone’s sympathy and compassion towards us. And when people do not reciprocate in the expected manner, they become cruel? What we fail to question ourselves is, ‘were we any different’?

Where on one hand, death’s hand cruelly takes away a part of us, its intensity of pain can re-unite ties that were severed long time ago. Its ominous presence ironically shines light upon the path of forgiveness, love and care between bitter relations. A whole lifetime does not suffice to teach us the importance of love, friendship and unity, the way death so brutally does. And for those who still ignore its teachings, death renders them with nothing but regrets. Regrets for not making up when there was time, regrets for acting so foolish, regrets for acting so selfish, regrets for not regretting earlier.

Although, as much as we loved those who pass away, we learn to cope up with their absence over time. We begin to smile, laugh and even love again. I wonder how those up in the heaven feel when they gaze down at us, laughing and loving again, without them. Do they think, ‘after everything I did, this is what they do’? Or do they really feel selflessly happy for us?  Does the goodness of heaven diminish the worldly attribute of jealousy?

There is no doubt that life is short. Whether you live for a staggering 100 years, a strong 50 or an innocent 15, as they always say, its not the quantity but the quality that matters. Why do we spend so much of our life struggling with hatred, jealousy, greed and enmity when we can spend the same time with love and compassion. The answer is because we somehow believe that we are immortal. We believe that our healthy diet, exercise and our fixed deposits are going to be our everlasting elixir of life. Just embracing the fact that this world is temporary and that we have to leave everything behind one fine day is a powerful factor to keep us grounded. This is the solution to every fight. Yes, this is what we need to ultimately achieve what is called World Peace.

The people who live next door

A few days ago, I was coming back home from an outing and my eyes fell upon the door of our neighbors. Theirs is the apartment just opposite ours. A blue balloon and a ‘It’s a Boy’ door hanging caught my attention. Naturally, I understood  that the couple who got married last year now have a baby boy. I say ‘the couple’ because I don’t know their names. In fact, I don’t know anything about them except their physical appearance. Actually, I am not sure if I can remember how they look really because I happened to see them not more than 5-6 times in the span of a year. Funny, isn’t it? I know what my fellow bloggers/Facebook friends do, where they live, where they went on a holiday, what their last post/status was about but I don’t know the same about my neighbors. 

Being a 90s kid, I understand that this was not the scenario a decade ago. Those days, neighbors were the closest group of people after one’s family. They were always a part of a family’s joy as well as sufferings. Those were the days of petty arguments followed by apologies and promises of everlasting friendship. Those were the days when kids were more interested in whats cooking in the house of the aunt who lives next door. In fact, probably most of our free time was spent in our neighbor’s house than our own, or in playing ‘London statue’ and ‘catching cook’ with the society kids in the building compound. 

But technology again has intervened like a jealous, stubborn girl who does not like sharing her friends with others. People are no longer a part of a neighborhood. Playgrounds lie in desolation with an exception of a few lonely kids once in a while. Today’s children have virtual friends called Angelina, virtual pets like ‘Talking Tom’ and a motion-sensored Xbox 360 to play games like tennis and football without actually going outdoors. I asked my kid sister if she knows how to play hopscotch, only to get a devastating reply, ‘what is hopscotch?’ 

While adults of the house spend much of their free time in stalking people on Facebook, checking out (and burning in jealousy, ofcourse) holiday pictures of high school batchmates they haven’t probably met since farewell. But ask them about their neighbors and you would probably be informed that they are not nosy neighbors. 

I don’t know how many of you all would agree but I really miss those days when I could get a ready solution to any problem from my neighbor. There wasn’t any need of joining any kind of support group then. Although the idea of virtual friends is interesting and the benefits of social media probably outnumber the drawbacks, I believe once in a while we need to be grounded to reality. We need to retain the good practices of our ancestors to ensure that they are not lost forever in this digital era. 

   

An Inspiration on the Road

Recently, during the painful hours of waiting in traffic, I witnessed a simple act of kindness that had such a profound impact on me. It brought me to tears. It was a bright morning accompanied with high level of humidity. I was observing a municipality cleaner, who was doing his morning chores. Tears of sweat glistened on his face, nevertheless he continued working. I had finished sympathizing with him and got distracted by the green light of the signal just when the guy in the car in front of me pulled his window down, called the cleaner and gave him some cash, probably as a token of appreciation. The middle-aged man nodded his head and pocketed the cash happily and thanked the guy in the car. I was so moved to see the gesture. The emotion was followed by some sort of guilt as to why I was not so thoughtful in doing the same. Being born as humans, aren’t qualities of of compassion and care inherent in us? Isn’t that what sets us apart from other living beings on the planet? Yes, we are aware of millions dying every year in Africa due to lack of adequate resources such as basic food and clean water. We watch the news, read blogs, discuss world issues over dinner daily and shake our heads in disapproval but how many of us really take that 1% of pure, selfless effort to contribute to the neglected parts of the society? We might be part of charity associations and donating some bucks (whose worth, to be honest, might not be more than a dinner at a fancy restaurant) to a cause now and then, but do we ever interact with these people on a personal basis? Do we make them feel important and wanted?

The moment from the morning replayed in my mind throughout the day and I knew then how it is to feel inspired by someone. The unknown guy in the car truly motivated me to be more thoughtful about such people who labor throughout the day so that we can reap the benefits of a cleaner and healthier environment. It is not enough to be just sympathetic. Such small actions of kindness really have the power to fill their day with a whole lot of happiness. Truly, appreciation counts.